Directed by: Greg Aronowitz

Starring: Zack Ward, Monica May, Colleen Smith

Quotes:

• "The Suit: I detect no intelligent life forms in our sector.
  Jordan Strider: That better not be an attempt at humor. "
• "Jun'hee: What are you doing?
  Jordan Strider: Enjoying the view."

Monkeybwoy:
In the not-so-distant future, Captain Jordan Strider, a Special Forces Officer in the New World Alliance, is chosen for a top-secret mission. Sent to a desolate planet to arrest possible traitors to the Alliance, Strider must survive with only a government issued experimental suit as protection. Eventually Strider discovers that he has been double crossed: The mission is an experiment to test the suit, which he cannot take off.
This is a perfect film to watch on a sunday afternoon while hung over. Order a pizza, with some soda, maybe some chip 'n' dip for desert. It is easygoing, entertaining, and the special effects reminds me of those in Playstation 2. The plot is simple and it is a futuristic adventure. Don't trust the acting because it is not good... at all...

I give this film 5/10 pukes

?the acknowledged smoking gun behind the ?body count? movie phenomenon of the 1980s, which continues to dominate the horror genre two decades later with such films as Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and their respective sequels.? -Tim Lucas-

Directed by: Mario Bava

Starring: Claudine Auger, Luigi Pistilli, Claudio Camaso

Tagline(s):

• The second movie rated "V" for violence.
• They came to play, they stayed to die.
• 13 Characters, 13 Murders
• Terror Flows Deep
• diabolical! fiendish! Savage... YOU MAY NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS ONE!
• the first motion picture to require a face to face warning* may be the last shock film you will ever want to see! -- * Every ticket holder must pass through The Final Warning Station. We must warn you face-to-face!

Monkeybwoy:
An elderly heiress is killed by her husband who wants control of her fortunes. What ensues is an all-out murder spree as relatives and friends attempt to reduce the inheritance playing field, complicated by some teenagers who decide to camp out in a dilapidated building on the estate.
This film goes by many titles, so many that it is probably known by more titles than any other movie ever released. the best-known title is Twitch of the Death Nerve. In Italy, the pre-production draft screenplay was called Odore di Carne ("The Stench of Flesh"), but the shooting title was originally Cosi imparano a fare i cattivi ("Thus Do We Live To Be Evil"), which was soon changed to Reazione a catena ("Chain Reaction"). After production was completed, it was announced as Antefatto ("Before the Fact"), but when finally released to theatres, the title had changed once again, this time to Ecologia del delitto ("The Ecology of Murder").
In the United States, it was originally released as Carnage, then retitled Twitch of the Death Nerve. It is also known as Bay of Blood (or A Bay of Blood), Last House on the Left ? Part II (or Last House ? Part II), and New House on the Left. In the UK, it was released as Bloodbath. The Internet Movie Database also lists Bloodbath Bay of Blood and Bloodbath Bay of Death as alternate titles.
Easily Bava?s most intensely violent film, its emphasis on graphically bloody murder set pieces was hugely influential on the slasher and splatter films that would follow a decade later. In 2005, the magazine Total Film named Twitch of the Death Nerve one of the 50 greatest horror films of all time.
With this films "gore", nicely done special effects (remember, this was released in 1971) and the strange camera angels, I would say it was a good b-movie experience.

I give this film 6/10 pukes

Fun Facts:

• This was actually shot on a piece of private property with few trees, but because of Bava's camera work it appears to have been shot in a large, wooded area.
• When Christopher Lee (Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars) first saw this movie he was reportedly so disgusted at the level of violence he left the theater in protest.
• Mario Bava deeply regretted filming the scene where a bug is pinned alive.
• One of the re-release titles for this film was "The Last House on the Left Part II", even though this film has nothing to do with Wes Craven's The Last House on the Left. In fact it was made a year earlier than "Last House".
• Reportedly has more alternate titles that any other movie.
• Due to the film's low budget the tracking shots were done with a child's toy wagon.
• The film not only had numerous release titles, but also had several working titles throughout the production. Among them were 'The Stench of Flesh', 'Thus Do We Live To Be Evil', and 'That Will Teach Them To Be Bad'. The title was finally settled on as Reazione a catena (meaning Chain Reaction) for its original release.
• he origin of the film was Mario Bava's desire to work with actress Laura Betti again. Betti had previously appeared in Bava's Il rosso segno della follia and the two had gotten along so well that they concocted the premise of this film for another project together.
• The shooting locations didn't have woods so director Bava created the 'woods' in the film by setting up tree branches to pass through the camera shots. According to actress Laura Betti the trickery would look so silly during shooting that the cast and crew would often laugh hysterically.
• Due to the film's low budget, most of the locations in the film belonged to director Mario Bava or members of the crew. The interiors of Countless Federica's home was shot at a favorite villa of director Bava and the interiors of Frank Ventura's country house were shot at a summer home of the producer.
• Mario Bava's personal favorite of all the films he made.
• Friday the 13th Part 2 takes two murders from this film, almost shot for shot. The locations of both films look similar.
• Dario Argento loved the film so much, he had a friend (who was a projectionist) steal him a print of the film during its first run in Italy. The theater ended up showing Hatchet for a Honeymoon to replace the stolen print for the remainder of the films run there (about a week and a half according to Argento. He still possess the print to this day).
• Mario Bava personally suggested the title Twitch of the Death Nerve for the American release after hearing it was being marketed as a sequel. The film was released under both titles.
• The Countess's suicide note reads, "February 13th. It is over. I am tired. My life no longer has meaning."

Goofs:

• The Count is stabbed repeatedly in his back and then he falls on his back and dies. When the killer is dragging him away, there should be a blood trail leading from The Countess to the door.

Directed by: Nicholas Webster

Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks and Vincent Beck

Tagline(s):

• Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Science-Fun-Fiction at its height!
• Santa Claus saves Christmas for the Children of the World!
• Santa Kidnapped by the Martians! Out-of-this-world fun 'n' action...as two Earth Kids are whisked away with him to Mars!
• SEE: The Martians Kidnap Santa! Santa's North Pole Workshop! The Fantastic Martian Toy Factory! Earth Kids Meeting with Martian Kids! Space-ship Journey from Earth to Mars! Santa Turn Mars-Robot Into a Mechanical Toy!
• Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids!
• Santa Brings Christmas Fun to Mars!

Quotes:

• "Billy: You'll never get away with this, you Martian! "
• "Kimar: Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars. Why are you sleeping during working hours?
  Dropo: I wasn't sleeping, chief. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing."
• "Betty: What are those funny things sticking out of your head?
  Rigna: Those are our antennae.
  Betty: Are you a television set?"
• "Kimar: How are you feeling today? Tired?
  Santa Claus: Oh, no, I'm not tired. But my finger is."
• "Santa Claus: Oh me, oh my, oh me!"
• "Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names."
• "Andy Henderson: What is this strange looking creature over here?
  Santa Claus: Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.
  Andy Henderson: A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night."
• "[Voldar doesn't think it's worth the trouble to kidnap Santa Claus and fly him to Mars]
  Voldar: All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!"
• "Kimar: Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.
  Santa Claus: Ho Ho, Hooo..."
• "Rigna: Chochem is eight hundred years old, you can't dismiss the wisdom of centuries.
  Voldar: I can."
• "Santa Claus: Ho ho, we meet again, eh?"
• "Kimar: Chochem! Chochem! Are you here? Ancient one of Mars, I call upon you."
• "Hargo: What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green?
  Kimar: I don't know what?
  Hargo: A Martian mellow."
• "TV News Announcer: [News report after Santas disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians."
• "Santa Claus: Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course."
• "TV News Announcer: Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either dissintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams."
• "Voldar: If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians."

Monkeybwoy:
What can I say? Where to start?...
I have known of this film for quite some while now, seen the trailer and some clips here and there. My original plan was to watch this so that it would be on my blog on christmas eve, but due to some preparations etc, I didn't find the time.
This 1964 film is one of the worst movies ever made. The plot is pretty simple, martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extol the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars.
This film is so weird in everything, and it is a trip so funny you don't need to get high or drunk...

I give this film 10/10 pukes. B-movie collectors. Get this shit... NOW!!!

This film has been named one of the worst films ever and a remake has been rumored since 2000 with David Zucker as producer and Jim Carrey attached to play Dropo, though it is currently believed to be in development hell (meaning the project is "frozen" for now).
What I also found pretty funny was that in 1993 a theatrical production of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Musical premiered at the Factory Theatre in Chicago, adapted and directed by Sean Abley. In 2006 a second theatrical production premiered at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton, California, this version was adapted by Brian Newell and Nick McGee. The Maverick's production has become a comedic success, a local tradition and performed every holiday season there since 2006.

Fun Facts:

• The Martian guns are actually painted Whammo Air Blasters.
• This was Pia Zadora's debut. (Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Impact)
• Most of the film was shot in an abandoned aircraft hangar on Long Island, New York.
• Was made "popular" following its critique on the program Mystery Science Theater 3000.
• This film is listed among The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson's book THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE.
• One of the films included in "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time (and how they got that way)" by Harry Medved and Randy Lowell.
• When Santa starts making toys, one of the Martians is fascinated by a toy that's "a coiled spring that walks down stairs." The year this film was released (1964) was a huge year for Slinky, which had a resurgence in the early 1960s.
• Most of the cast came from Broadway shows of the time.
• A single issue comic book adaptation of the film was published by Dell Comics.
• Brazilian comedy group Hermes & Renato spoofed the film in their MTV program Tela Class, redubbing it as "Santa Claus e o pozinho mágico" (Santa Claus and the Magic Powder; "magic powder" being more loosely translated here as "angel dust"). In this version, Santa is a drug dealer.

Goofs:

• Though the KIDTV reporter is introduced by the Anchorman as "Andy Henderson", Santa refers to him as "Andy Anderson".
• One of the newspaper headlines after the abduction sequence says that Santa has been "Kidnaped".
• In the beginning credits, instead of costume designer, it says "custume designer".
• When Stobo looks in on the toy fight, the popping sounds and flying projectiles suddenly cease (film was stopped to put the ball in his mouth).
• The bear costume's head piece can clearly be seen draped over the body.
• In the Polar Bear sequence where the costume is clearly a bear-rug draped over someone's body the back legs are the same way a man's are when crawling with his knees on the ground and shins to feet level with the floor.
• Most of the newspapers that flash by say nothing about Santa being kidnapped. Some are merely foreign language papers.

Full Lenght Feature Film:

Directed by: Gerorge Dugdale, Mark Ezra and Peter Litten

Starring: Caroline Munro, Simone Scuddamore and Carmine Iannaconne

Tagline(s):

• There's Horror in the Halls... Lynching in the Lunchroom... Murder in Metal Shop.
• Marty majored in cutting classmates.
• For murder, Marty gets ten out of ten.
• Where the student body is going to pieces.
• Marty was the dork of Doddsville High. One day he got mad... then he got even!

Quotes:

• "Carol Manning: We'll take my car... it starts every time "
• "Marty Rantzen: Hey, what's going on?
  Carol Manning: Ever try it under the shower before?"
• "Stella: Talk dirty, Frank! Talk dirty!
  Frank: Um... tits.
  Stella: DIRTY dirty!
  Frank: Um... fuck. Ah, tits. Screw."

Monkeybwoy:

A group of popular students play a cruel prank on a shy nerd resulting in a terrible accident. Years later a reunion is held where each of the students face a stalker killer who may be the same nerd out for revenge.
The producers of this film initially intended to call it April Fool's Day, but renamed it after learning of Paramount's same-titled slasher film scheduled for release the same year.
The film was shot in England, and many of the actors use fake American accents. The original music score was composed by Harry Manfredini, of Friday the 13th fame.

I just love this film. Anything that involves a nerd, gay, blonde, fat, ugly, aliens etc seeking revenge is cool. I mean they are all people to (maybe except aliens) and they are considered a week link in society for some. Maybe not for the directors/writers making/writing these kind of movies..
The sad thing about this film is that Simon Scuddamore, who plays the film's slasher, committed suicide shortly after production of the film.

I give this classic 8/10 pukes

Simon Scuddamore (1956 - 1984):

Simon Scudamore was born on April 15, 1956 in Westminster, London, England. He was the son of James and Pauline Scudamore and had two brothers named Nick and Matthew. He worked at a school for deprived children. Scudamore's sole acting role in a movie was a substantial part as vengeful and disfigured persecuted nerd Marty Rantzen in the enjoyably gruesome and nasty horror slasher cult favorite "Slaughter High."
Scudamore was not available on weekends while Slaughter High was being filmed, due to the fact that he helped out at a school for deprived children.
Sadly, he committed suicide at age 28 on November 21, 1984 in London, England. Death resulted from an apparently intentional drug overdose.

Goofs:

• When Ted finds his old shoes in his locker, he hands them to Skip and says "There you go Skip - You're always borrowing from me anyway...". Yet, his mouth doesn't move.
• The students are supposedly attending their 10-year reunion, which would mean they graduated in 1976, yet there is a reference to their being the class of 1980.
• When Marty is talking to Caroline while he gets undressed, he just takes off his shirt. He clearly has his jeans on in that entire part. He then rips open the curtains and still has his jeans on, yet in the next cut, in which the camera is in front of him, he is completely naked, no clothes whatsoever.
• When Marty comes out of the locker room after throwing up, the tissues he is holding switch from his left hand to his right hand and back.
• Right before Ted chugs the beer, his shirt is buttoned up all the way. In the next shot, it is partially unbuttoned.
• Right before the accident Marty is wearing a letterman jacket then when he is splashed with the acid he is no longer wearing the jacket.
• When the bullies are manhandling Marty and dunking him in the toilet at the beginning, Marty has been replaced by a very obvious mannequin.

A cool electro band from Denmark worth checking out. Analogik with the video of their song: Hraman The Man. Enjoy... I sure did...

Directed by: John Guillermin

Starring: Tanya Roberts, Ted Wass and Donovan Scott

Tagline(s):

• She'll fight like a tigress to save the land she loves...
• She is an ancient prophecy fulfilled. A golden God-child possessed with a mystic gift. A gift which grew in strength as she grew in years. A gift about to be put to the ultimate test: Innocence against Evil.
• She alone has the power to save Paradise.
• Part Animal. Part Legend. All Woman.
• When paradise became a battleground, she led the fight for survival!

Quotes:

• "Sheena: See! See! Even in chains, we can defeat them! Turn your minds back, oh my people. Remember yourselves- a thousand, a thousand moons ago! Bring your bows! Chief Harumba- Attack!"
• "Sheena: I am not a foolish young girl. The Shaman taught me that brave tales do not always have happy endings. I know what guns can do. I know that you and I may not live to see another sunset.
  Vic Casey: Mmmmm!
  Sheena: You are an enemy!
  Vic Casey: I'm what?
  Sheena: The Shaman taught me- an enemy is someone who takes without asking!
  Vic Casey: I'll ask then. May I?
  Sheena: Yes! You will be welcome in Zukuru! The head man's locust bean cakes- they will be your locust bean cakes! His fermented buffalo milk will be your fermented buffalo milk!"

"This movie is set in Africa and features tigers which aren't actually indigenous to Africa." -imdb-

Monkeybwoy:
Sheena's white parents are killed while on Safari. She is raised by the mystical witch woman of an African tribe. When her foster mother is framed for the murder of a political leader, Sheena and a newsman, Vic Casey are forced to flee while pursued by the mercenaries hired by the real killer, who hopes to assume power. Sheena's ability to talk to the animals and knowledge of jungle lore give them a chance against the high tech weapons of the mercenaries.
This film is exacly like another film I hace seen, the beastmaster. The only difference is the timeperiods. I got the impression that this would be more or less a big adventure but it disappointed me. I didnt like this and my advice is to stay away from it. Don't say I didn't warn you...

I give this 2/10 pukes...

Did you know:

1. This film is listed among The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson's book "The Official Razzia® Movie Guide".
2. Producer Paul Aratow landed a development deal for Sheena, Queen of the Jungle with Universal Pictures as early as 1975 as a proposed starring vehicle for Raquel Welch. However, numerous script rewrites led to the project being put into turnaround. The project was picked up by United Artists, then after a failed script put in turnaround to Filmways (later Orion Pictures) where another failed script led to another turnaround deal at Avco-Embassy, who courteously released the project before their contract had expired to Columbia pictures. The first screenwriter at Columbia (in 1980) was Leslie Stevens. At Columbia the script was subsequently completely rewritten by David Newman and later tweaked by Lorenzo Semple Jr.. At some point Bo Derek was considered for the title role, and Harrison Ford was offered the male lead, but casting amazedly ended up with Ted Wass and Tanya Roberts in the role of Sheena. The production was green-lighted in 1982.
3. Jodie Foster turned down the lead role as she was busy studying at Yale University.
4. Animal trainer, wrangler & coordinator Hubert Wells once said of this movie: "We flew over an elephant, a rhino, five lions, four leopards, four chimpanzees, five horses and sixteen birds. It was the largest shipment of animals back to Africa and just getting all the necessary permits to bring them in and out of the country was a superhuman task."
5. This movie was entirely filmed on location in Kenya, Africa over a period of about seven months.
6. Wild animals attempted to invade the set at different times and because of this armed guards were stationed on the set to protect the cast and crew.
7. Tanya Roberts as Sheena is seen riding a zebra in this movie.
8. This picture's director John Guillermin once directed such Tarzan adventure movies as Tarzan's Greatest Adventure and Tarzan Goes to India. The Sheena story is often referred to as being a female Tarzan.
9. Prior to starring as Sheena in this movie, Tanya Roberts two years previously had played a similar leading role as Kiri in The Beastmaster. Both movies feature Roberts in a nude bathing sequence.

Goofs:

• During most of the movie, Sheena is barefoot. When she gets to the Zambuli after escaping from the crashing helicopter, she has sandals. She is wearing those sandals when she pursues Otwani while riding on her zebra. After Otwani makes her fall from the zebra, she is barefoot again - the sandals disappear forever.
• After the elephant crashes through the wall of the jail, the guards try to leave the room. Monkeys trying to trip the guards with a gun, drop the gun before the guards can trip on it, but the guards still fall. It happens about 36 minutes into the movie.

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Michael Sopkiw, Valentine Monnier and George Eastman

Tagline(s):

• In The Year 2019, The Future Depends on One Man.

Monkeybwoy:
This is one of those movies where it is hard to describe what you want to describe. It is hard because the hero is a hard ass, but yet maybe to baby faced. I don't know. I think this is the hardest movie for me to review.
After a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. A mercenary named Parsifal is hired by the Federation to infiltrate New York City, which is controlled by the Euraks, to rescue the only fertile woman left on Earth. The film is just filled with surprises... It is a roller coaster, but not that scary, you just want to ride it more and more. Eventually you end up staying in line for the same roller coaster over and over again, but can't really figure out why you like this specific carnival device...

This one gets 8.5/10 pukes

Goofs:

• As the two then-surviving members of the Four Pirates of New Orleans push Parsifal's car over the cliff, there is a brief shot of what are supposed to be the driver's legs and feet working the pedals. The legs and feet are actually Parsifal's, not the driver's, as can be seen from the pants and boots.
• As the ship takes off for Alpha Centauri at the end of the film, Parsifal and others are simply standing around on the ship without being strapped in. This is especially odd since the President has specifically referred to his inability to endure the g-forces during takeoff.
• The scientist is said to have placed his daughter Melissa into hibernation to protect her from the effects of radiation. But merely placing her in hibernation would not protect her eggs from radiation damage, and the transparent cover of her case does not appear to consist of radiation shielding.
• When the sewer rats are devouring a man alive, a close-up of a "rat" chewing on flesh reveals it to actually be a guinea pig.

Directed by: Abel Ferrara

Starring: Zoë Lund, Albert Synkis and Darlene Stuto

Tagline(s):

• Crime Will No Longer Roam the Streets.
• It will never happen again!
• She was abused and violated. It will never happen again!
• She's number one...with a bullet.
• No man will ever be safe again.

Monkeybwoy:
"Ms. 45", also known as "Angel of Vengeance", is the story about a shy and mute seamstress who goes insane after being attacked and raped twice in one day. She takes matter in own hands in the streets of New York after dark and randomly kills men with a .45 caliber gun.
I just loved this film, the plot, the main actress and how the director use his imagination with a low budget film. Zoë Tamerlis Lund plays Thana, the main character in this film. The role was really made for her, I mean, she had this innocent baby-ish face that was just so fit for this role, that at some point you actually believe the film is "real".
This is a film that I classify as a "feminist b-movie vengeance thriller", and it is filled with methaphors of a how the male gender are  "pigs".
If you have some feminism in you, watch this shit...
If you're just like me and enjoys a girl power flick, watch this shit...
If you want a different kind of movie, watch this shit...
... you will not regret it...

There is not really much more to say other than this film has a nice balance of something bad turned into nice in a brutal kind of way.

I have to give this one 9/10 pukes

Goofs:

• One band member is playing the trumpet, but what you hear is obviously a saxophone. There is no trumpet sound in the song the band is playing.

!! The goof below may give away important plot points:

• When Thana shoots The Photographer, right after the blood flies in from off-screen, the camera pans wildly and you can see a bearded crew member in a red shirt for a few frames before the camera whips back to The Photographer.

Did you know:

• The name of Zoë Lund's character, Thana, is reminiscent of the Greek god of death, "Thanatos". Sigmund Freud used the word to refer to the human "death instinct", which leads people to take risks, seek thrills or behave destructively in ways that could lead to death.

Directed by: Héctor Olivera

Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea and Frank Zagarino

Tagline(s):

• No man can touch her naked steel

Quotes:

• "Amethea: I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore, and if I can't kill them all, by the gods they'll know I've tried. "
• "Arrakur: You are much too beautiful a girl to let yourself be broken into food for the royal dogs."
• "Zohar: [torturing a bound and topless Amethea on the rack] If it hurts, you have only yourself to blame. Every time you move, the machine is tightened."
• "Zohar: [addressing Amethea, who is bound naked to a torture rack] You should be very proud. You are making a contribution to science.
  [proceeds to rape her]
  Zohar: Just a little more my sweet.
  Amethea: UGGGLLM! Oooohhhh..."

Monkeybwoy:
A marriage is about to take place in a small village set during the days of the roman empire. The village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves.
Imagine "Deathstalker" as a woman and you have this movie. It is suppose to be during the roman empire, but nothing hints to this, I mean when you see the costumes, the weapons, the roman soldiers... it has nothing to do with this time period what so ever. I believe it is a good thing... The kind of b-movie where they create a new world within a world, or the director has just been to lazy doing his research. It is entertaining from start to finish and is highly recommended to b-movie lovers...

I give this film 8/10 pukes

Directed by: James Nguyen

Starring: Whitney Moore, Alan Bagh and Tippi Hedren

Tagline(s):

• Why Did The Eagles Attacked?
• Who will survive?

Quotes:

• "Ramsey: I'm just tired of all the fucking killing in Iraq. Why can't we just give peace a chance?"
• "Dr. Jones: It's the human species that needs to quit playing cowboy with nature. We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth."
• "Rod: Hey, look! There's an old guy on the bridge!"
• "Tree Hugger: Enjoy, and appreciate these trees while you can!"
• "Tree Hugger: I hear a mountain lion! I gotta get back to my house and you better get to your car!"
• "Ramsey: Where's Becky?
  Rod: She's taking a shit. Nathalie is watching her back."
• "Ramsey: [while in bed with Becky] Man, this is gonna be fun."
• "Nathalie: I think you're the one.
  Rod: Are you sure?"
• "Rod: Oh, lovers on the moon.
  Nathalie: Yeah."

Monkeybwoy:
James Nguyen is a genius. Whenever someone spend 10 000$ on a film and manages to release it, creating a group of followers and the film gets cult status, that is well done. Genius!!
Da Nang-borndirector James Nguyen's family fled Vietnam in 1975, shortly before the Fall of Saigon. He never received any formal training in moviemaking, but instead grew up watching the movies of Alfred Hitchcock, including his 1963 picture The Birds, and his 1958 movie, Vertigo, which Nguyen considers his favorite among the director's films. Nguyen went on to be a software salesman in Silicon Valley. He first picked up a camera in 1999, and eventually directed two movies, Julie and Jack and Replica. The former, released in 2003, was a low-budget romance, while the latter was never released. Nguyen blamed this on the expensive storyboarding process and his casting decisions.

Nguyen was inspired to write the script for Birdemic: Shock and Terror while spending time relaxing in Half Moon Bay, California, and much of the filming took place in the area surrounding the community. Birdemic took four years to produce, largely due to time limitations - filming was done mostly on weekends and financed through Nguyen's day job.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (often shortened to Birdemic) is a 2008 independent horror film written, directed, and produced by James Nguyen. The leading cast is made up of Alan Bagh and Whitney Moore. An apparent homage to The Birds, Birdemic tells the story of a romance between the two main characters as their small town is attacked by birds.

Birdemic was made with no studio support, largely self-financed and produced through Nguyen's Moviehead Pictures company for a budget of less than $10,000.The film has gained notoriety for its poor quality, with some critics citing it as one of the worst films ever made. After a limited theatrical release, the film gained a cult following.

This film is one of a kind, everyone will love it, everyone should love it. The acting is worst that horrible and the special effects are epic. It is one to watch, one to talk about, one to play without audio at a fucked up party.

I give this film 10/10 pukes plus 2 thumbs up!!

Did you know:

• When this film was rejected from the Sundance Film Festival, James Nguyen promoted his film by putting banners, fake blood, and fake birds all over his van. He would drive around to advertise until it caught the attention of Severin Films, which then distributed this film.
• James Nguyen spent four years making this movie.
• James Nguyen made the actresses wear bikinis during the make-out scenes because he didn't want any of the couples to actually have sex.

Trailer:

Interview with the director (hilarious guy):

Directed by: David Steiman

Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin

Tagline(s):

• He's making a list... pray you're not on it.
• Spreading holiday fear this Christmas.

Quotes:

• Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus, not Dracula!
• Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
• Santa Claus: [while reading a copy of the book 'A Christmas Carol' in the school library] Boy, Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people.
• Virginia Mason: Santa?
  [laughs nervously]
  Santa Claus: Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus!
• Gwen Mason: [panicked, desperately] I've been good!
  [Santa hits her with a table leg]
• Nicholas Yuleson: The clock just struck midnight at the pole. Christmas is officially over for you, Santa!
  Santa Claus: You know, most people make the same mistake. The correct time at the pole is completely discretionary, because the poles are where all the time zones actually converge.
  Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: He's scary, yet educational.
• Santa Claus: Ho, ho...
  [oogles topless waitress as she walks past him]
  Santa Claus: [lustily] HO...
• Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: You hit like a girl.
  Nicholas Yuleson: You kiss like a guy.
• Nicholas Yuleson: We're trapped in closet on Christmas with Santa trying to murder us. How fucked up is that?
• Santa Claus: Christmas is over when I say it's over!

Monkeybwoy:
This film is about Santa Claus who is actually a demon who lost a bet with an Angel, so he becomes the giver of toys and happiness. But when the bet is off, he returns to his evil ways. "Santa's Slay" is exacly what the title says, Santa Claus running around slaying people. It starrs former WWE wrestler Bill Goldberg a.k.a Tha Man as Santa Claus, meaning you get one big santa on steroids running around killing and people.
I found this film very funny at times quite stupid. It works but at the same time it doesnt work. It is not really a b-movie (although the acting has the quality of one), it is a bigger budget movie with celebrety cameos (Chris Kattan, Tommy "Tiny" Lister). It is just plane entertaining and is one christmas movie made for the holidays...
If you want a different Xmas movie, you should check this one out.

I give it 6.5/10 pukes.

It is just fun to watch Santa Clause chase, fight and kill to cheesy Christmas tunes...

Directed by: Jeffrey Miller

Starring: Tasha Biering, Dan Roach, Andre Walker

Tagline(s):

• Who will make the cut?
• Two-Four-Six-Eight-Who do we decapitate!

Quotes:

• "Coach Elaine Riley: Be careful tonight, Heather - I can't afford to lose my head cheerleader before the big game tomorrow.
• "The Voice: Mmmm, just what I like, fresh cheerleader - sounds like a new Ben & Jerry's flavor."
• "Heather Connelly: Don't mess with me, Coach, I'm a *cheerleader*"
• "Cheerleaders: Two four six eight, who should we decapitate!"

Monkeybwoy:
This movie is okay. It was no like... WOW! I mean it has some nakedness here and there, some tits flying around after been cut off with an axe. For me, it was more or less a scream parody but with ugly end of the 90's style cheerleaders.
It has some predictable surprises now and then, but it wouldnt be a surprise if it was predictable now would it?
I think the director tried out the surprising element but failed doing so.
The acting is like a school play, overdramatic, over acting and tense. It is a serial killer type horror movie. Nothing new, nothing special, just plain and average.
It was e

Sorry, I didn't find any videoclip or trailers for this one.

Directed by: Carlos Puga

Starring: Pat Lowery, Hippy Schrock and Chance Johns

Monkeybwoy:
Short mockumentary about a moped gang, "the hell satans". 
This short film is part fact and part fiction, directed by Carlos Puga. Strange, funny, very watchable so sit down for 18 minutes and watch it... If you get inspired and want to start your own moped gang, please read the text below that I copy/pasted from Wikipedia. Then you will be certain if you're really up for it.
Moped rule...or... what do you think?

Wikipedia:
Mopeds are a type of low-powered motorcycle designed to provide economical and relatively safe transport with minimal licensing requirements.
Mopeds were once all equipped with bicycle-like pedals (the source of the term, motor + pedal), but moped has been increasingly applied by governments to vehicles without pedals, based on their restricted engine displacement, speed, and/or power output. Mopeds occasionally resemble powered bicycles, but most are now step-through designs (of both kinds, having either large or small wheels) and step-over designs similar to a regular motorcycle. Although mopeds usually have two wheels, in some jurisdictions low-powered three or four wheeled vehicles are also classified as mopeds.
In most countries, the legal driving age for a moped is lower than for regular motorcycles and cars. Mopeds are typically restricted to 50 km/h (30 mph) from a maximum engine displacement of 49 cc (3.0 cu in), though there are a few variations.

History:
The term "moped" now only applies to low-power (often super-economy) vehicles, but pedals were fitted to some early motorcycles, such as the pictured 1912 Douglas. Pedalling away from stationary was a great improvement over "run and jump" and light pedal assistance (LPA) was valuable for climbing hills. Better transmissions with wider ranges, better clutches and much better engine performance made pedals obsolete on most motorcycles by 1918 but the pedals on mopeds remained valuable for their original purposes as late as the 1990s.
The earliest mopeds were bicycles with a helper motor in various locations, for example on top of the front wheel; they were also called cyclemotors. An example of that type is the VéloSoleX brand, which simply has a roller driving the front tire.
A more innovative design was known in the UK as the Cyclemaster. This had a complete powered rear wheel which was simply substituted for the bicycle rear wheel, which originated from a design by two DKW engineers in Germany. Slightly larger machines, commonly with a 98 cc (6.0 cu in) engine were known as autocycles. On the other hand some mopeds, such as the Czech-made Jawa, were derived from motorcycles.
A further category of low-powered two-wheelers exists today in some jurisdictions for bicycles with helper motors ? these are often defined as power-assisted bicycles or motorized bicycles. Other jurisdictions may categorize the same machines as mopeds, creating a certain amount of confusion. In many countries three wheelers and microcars are classified as mopeds or variations thereof. This practise is not restricted to the third-world, France and Belgium classify microcars such as the Aixam similarly or as "light quadricycles".

Etymology:
The word moped was coined by Swedish journalist Harald Nielsen in 1952, as a portmanteau of motor and pedal. It is however often claimed to be derived from "motorvelociped", as Velocipede is an obsolete term for bicycle that is still being used in some languages such as Russian. According to Douglas Harper, the Swedish terms originated from "(trampcykel med) mo(tor och) ped(aler)", which means "pedal cycle with engine and pedals" (the earliest versions had auxiliary pedals).
Other terms used for low-powered cycles include motorbicycle, motorized bicycle, motor-driven cycle, and goped (motorized inline skateboard with T-bar). In German, the terms Mofa (from Motor-Fahrrad, "motor-bicycle") and Mokick (equipped with kick-start) are also used. In Finnish, the common term is mopo (from moottoripolkupyörä, "motor-powered bicycle"). The term noped is sometimes used for mopeds that do not have pedals.

Safety:
Safely riding a moped mostly requires the same considerations as safely riding a motorcycle but the lower speeds, while reducing some dangers, increases others. The biggest danger is that other traffic may not notice the presence of a moped - bright clothes and reflective fittings help. Drivers may even see the moped, recognize it as harmless to them and simply forget it's there, pulling out of side-turnings into its path. Similarly, a car approaching a moped from behind will approach it more quickly than the driver expects, and the driver's attention may be more attuned to other automobile traffic rather than the moped, increasing the likelihood of an accident. This is a particular problem for mopeds used on high-speed roads where they may not be intended to travel.
Mopeds are often illegally tuned for higher speeds, powers or engine displacements than allowed. For this to be legal, such vehicles should be re-registered as motorcycles, and their driver's license requirements, insurance costs and minimum driver age would be higher. A tuned vehicle, not designed for higher speeds, is not as safe as a purpose-designed motorcycle. A survey of Finnish high school students found that 80% and 70% of their mopeds were tuned, for vocational and gymnasium students, respectively. Only 10% of trade school students had a moped to conformed to legistlation. The average maximum speed was 72 km/h, far higher than the legally allowable 45 km/h.

Emission:
Mopeds can achieve fuel economy of over 100 mpg_-US (2.4 L/100 km; 120 mpg_-imp). The emissions of mopeds have been the subject of multiple studies. Studies have found that two-stroke 50 cc mopeds, with and without catalytic converters, emit ten to thirty times the hydrocarbons and particulate emissions of the outdated Euro 3 automobile standards. In the same study, four-stroke mopeds, with and without catalytic converters, emitted three to eight times the hydrocarbons and particulate emissions of the Euro 3 automobile standards. Approximate parity with automobiles was achieved with NOx emissions in these studies. Emissions performance was tested on a g/km basis and was unaffected by fuel economy. Currently in the United States, the EPA allows motorcycles, scooters, and mopeds with engine displacements less than 280cc to emit ten times the NOx and six times the CO than the median Tier II bin 5 automobile regulations.An additional air quality challenge can also arise from the use of moped and scooter transportation over automobiles, as a higher density of motorized vehicles can be supported by existing transportation infrastructure.

Racing:
The wide availability of previously-used but still functional small motorcycles in western societies enables and encourages cheap forms of racing, wrongly called moped racing. Dirt-racing forms of this sport is sometimes staged in the stadiums of agricultural shows, where, unlike football and athletic grounds, the surface is not too important. One popular series uses chicanes consisting of stacked large-diameter tractor tyres and requires a team of riders, each doing ten laps and then pulling into the middle of the ring for change-over. Two heats and a final, each lasting 25 minutes, can be held in one day interspersed with speedway racing and other displays. Another series once held on full-size race-tracks, including Le Mans, ran for 25 hours (typically 3.00pm one day until 4.00pm the next) and was billed as "the longest race in the world".

Source: Wikipedia
Pictures taken from the film: Satan Since 2003

Directed by: Michael Cooney

Starring: Scott MacDonald, Christopher Allport and Stephen Mendel

Tagline(s):

• He's chillin...and killin

Quotes:

• "[after seeing a corpse dressed up like a Christmas tree]
  Deputy Pullman: You don't reckon that we keep her up for the twelve days of Christmas, then? "
• "Sally: She's only talking back to you because she's upset.
  Jake: Sally, when I want philosophy, I'll turn on "Oprah.""
• "Tommy: What the hell are you?
  Jack Frost: The world's most pissed-off snow cone!"
• "Jack Frost: Gosh. I only axed you for a smoke."
• "Jack Frost: Don't eat yellow snow!"
• "Tommy: I said, who's there?
  [Jack Frost hits Tommy, and enters the house]
  Jack Frost: Well it ain't fucking Frosty!"
• "[Jack's head flying through the air]
  Jack Frost: I can see your house from up here!"
• "[after reforming himself in a distorted way]
  Jack Frost: Look, Ma! I'm a Picasso!"
• "Agent Manners: It's at a time like this, when I think all we can do is turn our eyes up to the heavens and say...
  [looks up and realizes Jack is back]
  Agent Manners: ...Oh shit."
• "Agent Manners: Agent Manners.
  Sam: FBI?
  Agent Manners: Sure. Why not?"
• "[Sam has frightened Stone with a warning shot]
  Stone: Do something!
  Agent Manners: Like what? Teach him how to shoot better?"
• "Paul Davrow: Fucker's a snowman!"
• "[Jack Frost has killed Jill]
  Jack Frost: Looks like Christmas came a little early this year. Well, I hope it was good for you honey. Oh, I must remember to send flowers."
• "Jack Frost: [to Paul] Ho ho ho. And what's your name little boy?"

 

Monkeybwoy:
Ho Ho Ho yes! When I got the idea of doing reviews on christmas b-movies I thought it was a good idea. Then I watched the first film, "Christmas Evil", and my doubts were almost taking over because of its poopness. Instead of putting on a typical "Conan the Barbarian" type warrior and sorcery kind of movie, I chose "Jack Frost" giving the christmas movies another chance. Man do I not regret this.
The story is set in a small town where a serial killer dies and is genetically mutated in car wreck on the way to his execution. After which, he becomes a murdering snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him.
This film is filled with funny quotes and unforgettable one liners. It also has terrible acting. It is a roller coaster, a funny horror movie where the unexpected is a part of the script.
In other words, I enjoyed every second of it and have a good feeling on the sequel, "Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman".

  

  

This is MY advice to YOU:

1. make it a christmas tradition and watch it every christmas holiday.
2. Drink beer, smoke dope, stay sober (or whatever you're into...) while watching it.
3. Dimm the lights.
4. Make sure to have everything at its place (for example snacks, you will need your popcorn, just don't get any stuck in your throat and sufficate, so chose your eating moments wisely.).
5. Go to the toilet before you start the movie and after you finish it.

Do not ignore this one. It is one to watch, one to own, or one to re-act in a school play. Even though the snowman in the movie looks nothing like the one on its dvd cover, you won't get disappointed.

I give this film 8.5/10 pukes...

Did you know that this is Shannon Elizabeth's (American Pie, Scary Movie, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes back) first acting role.

Goofs:

• Throughout the whole movie there's wind whistling, but there is never a visual indication of wind whatsoever.
• Icicles on the church wobble as if made of rubber just before Jack Frost arrives.

!! The goofs below may give away important plot points !! :

• When Jack is killing the girl in the bathtub, she can be seen waving her hand in front of the window from the outside, but every time they cut back to her being attacked, her hands/arms are stuck inside Jack.
• Near the end when they burn Jack with the oatmeal, the car goes to hit him, the black wire that pulls him off screen is visible.

Trailer:

Feature film:

Directed by: Lewis Jackson

Starring: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn and Dianne Hull

Tagline(s):

• You'd better take care...Santa is coming to town!
• He'll sleigh you.
• Better Watch Out... Better Not Cry... Or You May DIE!

Quotes:

• "Harry "Santa": You want it all... but you're no longer a child. "
• "Harry "Santa": But if you're bad, then your name goes in the Bad Boys and Girls Book, and then I'll bring you something... horrible."
• "[last line after Harry gets away from the vigilante mob]
  Harry "Santa": But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
• "[last line after Harry gets away from the vigilante mob]
  Harry "Santa": "Every day you would shave, you see yourself one day closer to dying."

  

Monkeybwoy:
HO HO HO... NO NO NO!!! this movie is not good at all. The flilm is about a psycho in a Santa suit that gets to decide who's been naughty and who's been nice. It is suppose to be a horror movie, but they have just tried to make it scary by putting some ridiculous "scary" sounding synth noices.
This film is just, how can I put it... boring. I sat through 1 hour and 13 minutes before I fast forwarded through the rest. It is that bad!
I just got the feeling that they were trying to hard to make it work. Director John Waters says: "The greatest christmas movie ever made". He must have smoked crack when he said that, or maybe he got a free blowjob from a thai hooker and said it while getting an orgasm just as horrible as this film.

My advice: Ignore it, buy it and burn it, or just do a big dump on it, because that is what it is, a big dump...

I give this movie 1.5/10 pukes

Spoofs:

When Harry's brother falls down the hill, it's obviously a fake sheet of snow as it all lifts off the ground.

Directed by: Penelope Spheeris

Starring: Chris Pedersen, Bill Coyne and Jennifer Clay

Tagline(s):

• A New Movie ... About A New Generation.
• The kids from ... The Wild Side ... The Side You've Never Seen.

Quotes:

• "Jack Diddley: My old man's gonna be back soon and if we're still here he's gonna shit Twinkies. "
• "DI - Vocals: Have some fuckin' fun, move up."
• "Razzle: Happy Easter, asshole."
• "Jack Diddley: Where's that house, Flea?
   Razzle: Over there... Hey, my name's Razzle, man."
• "Joe Schmo: Later days."
• "Club Owner: Give 'em the muzak."

Monkeybwoy:
I have mixed feelings after watching this film. It is now approx 9 hours since I watched it (eventually when you read this it will be more) and I had to digest it before I wrote about it. Seriously, it is very hard for me to determin if I like it or not. But in a way, the more I think about it the more I like it, so I am getting there. Suburbia, written and directed by Penelope Spheeris (Waynes World, Sensless, The Beverly Hillbillies), used 6 weeks to shoot this film and with the exception of Chris Pedersen and Bill Coyne, the kids in the movie were not professional actors.
Another interessting fact is that she cast real punk rockers instead of seasoned actors in the interest of realism. The kid actors in this film did their own stunts and many of the incidents which are shown in the movie were inspired by real life events writer/director Penelope Spheeris read about in local newspapers.

  

In a way I feel it is wrong to joke around with this filn because I have synoathy for it. I mean the acting reminds of the acting in a schoolplay, but for some reason you respect this film in anyway you can. Just confusing...
In a way I want to give it 2/10 pukes and something tells me to give it 9/10...
Maybe I should meet in the middle and give it 6/10 pukes... I think I will do that

This film has been given 6/10 pukes from monkeybwoy...

I will sign out by reaviling some goofs ...

Goofs:

• When all the punk kids are driving in Jack's car, Jack calls the character Razzle (Flea) Flea.
• When Razzle dumps the slushie into the pickled egg jar, blue syrup goes all down the outside of the jar and puddles onto the counter. In the next shot, the slushie is neatly contained (and well mixed) inside the jar with no mess.
• When the big dog tries to come in through the car window, his chain is visible.
• When the rednecks are shooting the dogs, you can see the tripwires used to flip them over.

Directed by: Stuart Gordon

Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton

Tagline(s):

• "H.P. Lovecraft's classic tale of horror"
• "Death Is Just The Beginning..."
• "Herbert West Has A Very Good Head On His Shoulders... And Another One In A Dish On His Desk"
• "It will scare you to pieces."

Quotes:

• "Herbert West: Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow. "
• "[Visiting the morgue]
  Dan Cain: What if we get caught?
  Herbert West: What'll they do? Embalm us?"
• "[Re-re-animating the dead cat in the basement]
  Herbert West: Don't expect it to tango; it has a broken back."
• "Swiss Woman Doctor: You killed him!
  Herbert West: No, I did not. I gave him life."
• "Dan Cain: He's dead?
  Herbert West: Not anymore."
• "Dr. Carl Hill: [Dr. Hill's head has just *awakened*] Wesssssssssst...
  Herbert West: Yes, Doctor, it's Herbert West. What are you thinking? How do you feel?
  Dr. Carl Hill: [wheezing] Youuuuuuuuuu...
  Herbert West: [eagerly taking notes] "You..."
  Dr. Carl Hill: Bassssstaaaaaarrrrrd!"
• "Dan Cain: [meeting for the first time] So West,what kind of medicine are you involved in?
  Herbert West: Death."
• "Dan Cain: [Dan's cat has died and been found in Herbert's refrigerator] You can call, or write a note.
  Herbert West: I was busy pushing bodies around as you well know and what would a note say, Dan? "Cat dead, details later"?"
• "Dan Cain: [about the cat] He couldn't have been dead!
  Herbert West: Do you agree that he's dead now?
  [Picks up cat's body and drops it onto table]
  Herbert West: Do you agree that he's dead now?"

 

Monkeybwoy:
What a movie... This film has cult status and I do understand why it is a cult flick. The story is very simple: "A dedicated student at a medical college and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue when an odd new student arrives on campus. "
I just love Jeffrey Combs (Peter Jackson's "The Frightners") because he has this cool face that freaks you out when the camera closes up on him. It looks kind of scary but at the same time it is very funny. And his role as the eager, energetic medical student experimenting with dead things and reviving them with a serum he invented is just funny.

This film has it all, humor, naked (men and women), splatter, neon green serums, morgues, dead people getting re-animated, Jeffrey Combs (no relation with P.Diddy), adrenaline rush, headless doctors that is alive... and a few goofs that I will reveal further down this page...

This is one to watch and one to collect... 9.5/10 pukes...

This film is epic, now time will tell if I, one day, will watch the epic fails: "Bride Of Re-Animator" (1990) and "Beyond Re-Animator" (2003)

Goofs:

• The window in Dr. Hill's door is broken when Dan and Meg go snooping around in his office, but it is whole later on when Dr. Hill returns.
• The university where all the action takes place is "Miskatonic". When West is reanimating the dead cat Rufus, there is a close-up of a bottle of chemicals from the university, spelled "Misketonic", with an 'e'.
• When Dr. Halsey is killed, two of the fingers on his right hand are bitten off by a re-animated corpse. Later in the film in the padded cell, Dr. Halsey places his right hand on a wall, and all his five fingers are showing.
• When West is preparing to reanimate the Dean's body in the morgue, he circles the embalming table, and swivels a pivoting lamp along with him. In the next shot, however, the lamp vanishes altogether.
• As Dan and West walk around the basement looking for the reanimated cat, the shadow of the square camera lens hood as well as the boom mic attached to it are visible.
• The bone saw that Dr. Hill uses to dissect the cadaver in class never rotates.
• We see West shoving the drill through the cadaver's back and exiting his chest. The chest itself is a fake with the actor playing the cadaver holding on to it and shoving the drill through himself. We see this for ourselves when the two actors accidentally lift the fake chest high enough to reveal the real body underneath.
• When Doctor Carl Hill (David Gale) instructs the hospital orderlies to restrain the crazed, "re-animated" Dean Halsey, they tackle him hard into the wall of the "security chamber", which bends and wobbles and clearly behaves like the false wall of a movie set.
• When Dan is in the morgue at the beginning of the movie, you can clearly see the bag over the cadaver rising as the actor is breathing.
• When West picks up the cat in the basement and drops it, it is a fake cat, the cat hasn't been dead long enough for rigor mortis to have set in to keep it in that position, or to cause the clunking noise the cat makes on impact with the table.

Trailer:

Movie:

Directed by: Kevin Tenney

Starring: Tawny Kitaen, Todd Allen, Clare Bristol

Tagline(s):

• "Never play it alone"
• "This game could be fatal. Don't play it alone."
• "Pray for survival till dawn"

Quotes:

• "Zarabeth: Hang loose, stay cool, and don't forget your psychic humor. "
• "Zarabeth: TTFN
  Brandon Sinclair: What's "TTFN"?
  Jim Morar: Ta Ta For Now."

"Witchboard was filmed in Big Bear Valley, San Bernardino National Forest, California with and estimated budget of $2,000,000." -wikipedia-

"Witchboard had a 15 screen limited release on December 31, 1986 with the film bringing in $95,435 that weekend. The film had a full U.S. release on March 13, 1987 bringing in $2,582,408 that weekend. The film's final box office gross was $7,369,373." -wikipedia"

Monkeybwoy:
Whenever I see a movie about ghosts and ouija boards and stuff like that, I automatically get a little bit scared and witchboard was no exception. But after the first 30 minutes my excitment for this film went from high adrenaline to a small smile because lets face it, this film is more funny than scary and has more "errors" in it than all the deathstalker series together.
Linda, played by Tawny Kitaen (Gwendoline), gets hooked on a ouija board that her friend Brandon, played by Stephen Nichols, forgets at a party. After a demonstration with the board at the party, Linda gets hooked and obsessed with a demon and yada yada yada...
I will admit, this film was quite entertaining, the acting was what to expect from a b-movie, but it doesnt really shine like a 2 000 000 usd movie from the 80's...

If you have a girlfriend... Watch this film with her one night when ur all alone in a big dark room... maybe the norwegian winter is the perfect season for this, just as long as it is after 4 p.m

This deserves 6,5/10 pukes

Now the question remains if I will watch the follow ups: Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway, released in 1993, and Witchboard III: The Possession, which had no relationship at all released in 1995.

Goofs:

• After Linda found her diamond ring in the bathroom sink drain, James shows up and startles her. At one point, you can see James in the mirror with his mouth moving but his voice couldn't be heard.
• Malfaitor strikes Brandon vertically on the forehead with the axe, but when Jim finds him, the would is horizontal across Brandon's face.
• The POV shots of Linda's hands are different from the side-angle when she's possessed by Malfaitor.
• Though out the movie Linda's fingernail polish changes from red to clear
• The cameraman's shadow visible during a close-up of the hatchet hammer lying on the sheetrock.
• When Zarabeth is being chased up stairs by the as yet unidentified spirit, you can see the shadow of a cameraman and a mic boom.
• In the third act when the "spirit" cam cranes up to the second floor bedroom and into the window, you can see the set lights reflected in the window, the bedroom mirror and the bathroom mirror.
• When Linda is possessed and attacking James towards the end, he stabs her to fight her off, and you can see obvious padding under her pants where the knife was stuck.
• You can see where the lines on the ropes holding the barrels are marked to break.

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: David Paul, Peter Paul and Richard Lynch.

Tagline(s):

• "Warriors... Conquerors... Heroes"
  

Quotes:

• "Ibar: Stay where you are, fatty.
  Gore: Fatty? Me?
  Kutchek: You.
  Gore: FATTY! Who you calling fatty, moosehead?"
• "Ibar: The song is finished, the laughter silent, the dream... dead"

Monkeybwoy:
This film hasnt gone up for me and I am still digesting it, and I had to write about it after a good night sleep. This film is crazy and probably the gayest barbarian movie out there. Now... The young orphans Kutchek and Gore have been adopted by a tribe of clowns, jugglers, and entertainers. The tribe is led by the queen Canary and its wealth stems from her magical belly stone. The evil ruler Kadar desires Canary and her stone, and attacks her clan's caravan to gain possession of them. Before the clan's defeat one of the clansmen sneak away to hide the stone. Canary is locked up in Kadar's harem, Kutchek and Gore in his quarry to be trained as gladiators, and the rest of the clan is to live as outlaws in the woods.
This film is shot in Italy and is probably a spaghetti movie as we call it. It is so bad and strange that it is good. The main characters are doing a very great and stiff performance. Imagine 2 Arnolds for the price of one. If that isnt gay, I dont know what is...

I just have to give this film 9/10 pukes...

Long live the barbarian brothers and for their work of geniusness s-s-sss